


i've been too numb (to understand)

by Rallowfluvanz



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Future Fic, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 18:03:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19728910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rallowfluvanz/pseuds/Rallowfluvanz
Summary: Maybe fate is mistaken for misfortune, before it can become the beautiful moment seemingly taken from the fairy tales and the fables. Maybe the believers are on to something bigger than the human brain could even imagine.





	1. kismet

There are some that seek comfort in the arms of an omnipotent, omniscient being. A king or ruler that holds their lives in the palm of their hand and promises a path of their perfect design to those who are lost. They see a god, a leader, a pure power that overwhelms all that stands in its presence, high on a pedestal in their comparatively inconsequential lives. This bodiless being longed for for centuries oversees all, has a plan for all, cares for all, created all. These believers fantasize of fate, destiny, soulmates, and a higher purpose that mere humans cannot possibly comprehend. Constantly ridiculed as science evolves and advances, left in the dust, moving forward on nothing but hope as years pass. Theories develop that would seem to prove a god and, consequentially, such things as destiny, do not exist. No one can know for sure who is right, faith or fact. None can prove that something as irrational as fate has any place in our reality. For how could something so complex be written into time, everything working together to lead to one event, one moment in time, destined to happen. Repeated and woven together, infinite moments fated to happen, all dependent on its predecessor to keep the chain alive and the plan on its course. It's all too whimsical to be real.

But just maybe... fate is mistaken for misfortune, before it can become the beautiful moment seemingly taken from the fairy tales and the fables. Maybe the believers are on to something bigger than the human brain could even imagine.


	2. i'm just so used to emptiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Keith, neck and neck.  
> Lance and Keith, back to back.  
> Lance and Keith, hand in hand.

**_Entry 1_ **   
**_May 13th, 2018_ **   
**_Kismet's Countdown: 365 days_ **

The door closes with a quiet click, the lock sliding home right after and Lance lets his shoulders slump. He raises his head to see all the fight gone from Keith's eyes, his impenetrable defenses brought down when it's safe from unwelcome gazes, just the two of them again.

Lance and Keith, neck and neck.

Lance and Keith, back to back.

Lance and Keith, hand in hand.

Lance wonders to himself if this is how it will stay: always only the two of them. Not that he's complaining about that at its face value. Lance knows he wants Keith by his side for everything life puts them through, but he was hoping for some good in there with the bad to share with him, too. For them to share together, to share with another between them. A family all their own. It was an exciting concept in the days leading up to the meeting they'd returned home from moments ago. They were going to take another big step forward, together, because they were ready for whatever good came next. But reality did not quite work like that, a fact Lance was hoping would not rear its nasty head, just this once. Heedless of his pleas, reality raged on around them both, reminding them that the world was not yet ready for the change they so desperately needed.

He turns to put his keys in the tray by the door as he sighs. His hands drop to the edge of the table in their small foyer and he hangs his head, exhaling again, louder, forcing the tension out of his shoulders and down his back. His next inhale leaves him with the familiar numbness that comes with crippling insecurities. He foolishly thought he had left the slurs and rejection behind in high school. Of course, this is no surprise. A mild, though disheartening obstacle at best, depressing at worst. Keith and Lance knew bigotry first hand, recipients of the abuses of their peers both apart and together. Adulthood has not proven to be an upgrade from their teenage years. The hurt lies in the laws that protect the people who treat them as unworthy, discriminate against them for reasons they are not required to explain. Lance McClain has never backed down from a challenge, has always let spite be his guide. But maybe this is one fight he cannot win, a scenario where he does not come out on the top standing on the remains of his enemies, his flag held high. Perhaps just this once a plain white flag will be raised, his defeat set in stone for the world to see, telling them, "Look here, another youth brought to his knees by your mighty power, another to add to the piles of those now hopeless."

Maybe this was a mistake. Perhaps a sign that if this is what it looks like now, just how much worse it can get. And it will get worse as it always does, that's a guarantee. The uncertainty lies in whether or not the tears and pain and hardship were worth enduring, in the end.

**Author's Note:**

> they're hurting now but i promise it'll get better


End file.
